When I was sixteen I got hired at a popular fast food restaurant. It was my first job, and I was excited to start and earn a little extra spending money. I was tasked with working the front as a cashier and runner. Unfortunately, it didn’t take long for me to dread coming into work. The managers gave a lot of negative feedback (to everyone, not just me), and it wasn’t long before I started having anxiety when I was scheduled to work. I didn’t feel like I could ask questions without being made to feel ignorant. I found myself calling someone in to cover my shifts more and more.
Fast forward eight months, and I was done. I applied to work at a new family-owned garden center that was opening down the road from my house. The difference was obvious from the first day. They were kind and patient as I learned how things worked. I got positive feedback when I did something right. Not long after working there, I was trusted to train new employees and close the building by myself. I felt valued. I ended up working there for eight years—throughout high school and college.
What a difference, right? Eight months versus eight years. In one place I felt like just another cog in the machine— ignored and replaceable. I left as soon as I could. In another place, I felt valued and seen because the people in charge made it a point to show me my worth to their company. In turn, I wanted to work hard for them. I wanted to be someone they could rely on.
As teachers, we know the same idea applies to the classroom. When we show our students we care about them—their interests, abilities, voice, and beliefs—there will be more active engagement, effort, and cooperation. In simple terms, the classroom thrives when everyone feels seen and valued. So, what is one simple way I try to make students feel valued in my classroom? Let me introduce the power of a single sticky note.
The “Positive Feedback” Sticky Note
When I notice a student is doing something great in class, I’ll jot a note on a post-it and give it to them. When I write these notes, I include two things—their name and specific feedback about what it is they’re doing well. It’s never just: Keep up the good work! Here’s why— including their name makes it personal to them. You intentionally wrote this for only them to read. Including specific feedback tells them what exactly you value about them. Here’s an example of what I might write on a note: Jack, I really appreciate how much you have been participating in class discussions lately. It’s great to hear your perspective!
This also works well for a student struggling to meet expectations. Recently, one of my seventh graders had been coming late to class on a daily basis. On a day she got to class on time, I wrote this: Carley, Thank you for being in your seat when the bell rang today. I really appreciate you being ready to go at the start of class. Keep it up! Guess what? She was on time the next day too. I’m not saying this completely solved the problem, but it showed her I noticed when she did the right thing. That is powerful–especially for students who feel that no one sees the good in them.
So, how do I give them their note? I might sneakily stick it on their desk while walking around the classroom. Sometimes I stick it in their classroom textbook (they store these in my room) on a page I know we’ll work on that day. I’ll even put it on an assignment I hand back to them. It’s not really how I do it that matters—it’s just that I do it.
Some students read it and smile. Others read it and quickly put it in their pencil bag so no one else sees it. Some hang it in their locker. Others throw it away. Here’s what I know: no matter what they end up doing with the sticky note, my words matter to them. I know getting positive feedback from me builds that trust and relationship one brick (or sticky note) at a time.
The “Reminder” Sticky Note
I was at work on my and my husband’s third anniversary, and I had a coworker come up to me and say, “You’re celebrating something special today, right? Happy Anniversary!” I was floored. Don’t get me wrong. I’m fairly close to this coworker, but if you asked me when his and his wife’s anniversary was, I would stare at you blankly.
I asked him how he remembered that and what he said stuck with me. He told me that when he hears someone talking about an important date like an anniversary or birthday, he’ll put it in his phone calendar right at that moment so he can be sure to say something to them on that day every year. How incredible is this? He’s taking time to put other people’s special events in his calendar just so he can let them know someone is thinking about them.
This impacted me so much, that I started doing the same thing with my students. At the top of my desk calendar, I keep a stack of mini sticky notes. When I have a conversation with a student and they tell me something that is coming up for them, I’ll immediately write a reminder sticky note and place it on the calendar next to a day I want to follow up with them.
For example, a student told me he was supposed to get another dog after report cards came out. So, I wrote a quick note that said, “Ask Nick about his new dog” and stuck it on my desk calendar the week after report cards came out. Or, I had a student tell me he had a soccer tournament the coming weekend. I wrote a reminder note that said, “Ask Jon about his soccer tournament” and stuck it to the calendar on the following Monday.
Here’s the thing: the follow-up is the most important part of conversations with students. The follow-up makes them feel seen and valued. Anyone can ask them what they’re doing this weekend, but to go that extra step and ask them about it at a later date? That’s where you really show that you care.
The “Community Builder” Sticky Note
This is a fun one. Every once in a while at the beginning of the day, I’ll stick a few sticky notes under some of the classroom chairs. During the last couple of minutes in class, I’ll tell students they can either stay in their seat, or switch seats, but in 10 seconds they all have to be sitting at a desk. Once everyone has chosen a seat, I tell them to look under their chairs, and if they find a sticky note, they are the chosen one!
The student who finds the sticky note under his or her seat gets a compliment from me about something I like or appreciate about them as a person or student. Then, they get to choose a coupon from my prize box. (BTW…here are some great coupons for older students). After that, I tell them if they say something nice about another person in the room, everyone will get a Jolly Rancher. I’ve never had a student turn down the opportunity to be the classroom candy hero!
Here’s what’s great about this. It builds community. There’s a smile on everyone’s face. It’s a quick, fun activity that’s a tiny thank you from me to them. I don’t do this every day, or even every week. It’s just a sprinkle of a surprise every once in a while when they need an extra little oomph.
Who knew one little sticky note could hold so much power in relationship building? What an easy way to show students you value them as a person! Comment below on more ideas you have for relationship building (whether you use a sticky note or not).