Let me tell you something—this is not for the faint of heart. No, I’m not talking about teaching (but…that’s true too). I’m talking about leaving my precious, squishy-cheeked, wide-eyed seven-week-old daughter to go back to the classroom. That’s right—it’s the end of maternity leave and I am transitioning back into the classroom. The conflicting thoughts I have are endlessly invading my mind.
Oh! I get to see real, live people who can hold an adult conversation once again! But, I won’t be able to hold the best part of me for at least another eight hours.
Hey, I can start feeling like someone who is put together enough to wear more than a milk-stained T-shirt and her husband’s baggy sweatpants. But, I won’t be able to soothe my little one’s cries until I get home and inevitably crawl back into those same sweatpants.
Wait! I can finally start to soak in the feeling of being a human again—one with thoughts, creativity, and passion! But, I won’t be able to soak in the weight of my newborn sleeping on my chest for her morning and afternoon naps.
It’s the classic mom guilt. It’s the constant worry. Just when your little one can start smiling at the sound of your voice, you’re pulled away from her. Like I said, it’s not for the faint of heart.
This is my third time returning to teaching from maternity leave. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier, but it doesn’t. That being said, there are a few things that have helped me as I transition, and maybe they can help you too.
1.) Create a mindset shift.
For every negative thought you have about returning to work after maternity leave, try to spin it in a positive light.
- Negative thought: Ugh. I have to go back to work.
- Positive Spin: I get to go to a job I love while being able to help provide for my family.
- Negative thought: I’m a bad mother for leaving her.
- Positive Spin: I’m an incredible mother who gets to model how to have a fulfilling career while still being the backbone of a family.
- Negative thought: We won’t have a strong connection anymore.
- Positive Spin: You’re her mother. That connection is and will always be innate. The time away allows you to be more present in the moments when you get to be with her.
Try it out! No, really. If you’re struggling, take out a piece of paper and write down all the negative thoughts you’re having about returning to work. Now, under each negative thought, ask yourself what’s the positive side of this? Doing this will help create new, positive pathways in your brain.
I will say, this mindset shift is easier said than done. I find that sometimes I start whispering some of these mantras to myself in order to believe them. Or, I even write it on a sticky note and stick it to the front of my computer as a gentle reminder.
2.) Use the little time you get during the school day however you need to.
As teachers, we’re busy with a very strict schedule that has little to no maneuvering. That might be the understatement of the year. However, for most teachers, there are two times a day you can try and catch your breath: lunch and plan time. And I’m here to say that when you’re returning to teaching after maternity leave, use that time how you need to use that time.
Do you need to scroll your phone and watch videos of your baby? Do it. Do you need to put your head on your desk and just breathe? Do it. Do you need to put your nose to the grindstone and grade those papers, reply to that email, or make those copies in order to be fully present when you’re home? Do it. You are in survival mode right now and you need to do what’s right for you when you have those little bits of time.
3.) Be honest with your students.
In general terms, many teachers are very guarded when it comes to sharing their personal life with their students. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. However, sometimes, the students need to see that you’re a human too.
I teach middle schoolers and sometimes I just have to tell them, “Listen… I’m a little out of it today. I didn’t get much sleep last night and I miss my kiddo. Please, be patient with me during class today.” It’s good for students to see you as a human with feelings. The vulnerability will help them connect with you and maybe— just maybe— they’ll give you a little grace.
4.) Find your “someone.”
There’s nothing like being able to confide in another person when the overwhelming feelings start clouding your thoughts. Sometimes, you just need to know someone is there to listen. And, trust me, when those words are spilling out of you, it’s like a weight is being lifted off your chest.
If you’re lucky, you probably already have some colleagues at work that you can go and talk to when you need a pick-me-up. If you’re not so lucky in that regard, challenge yourself to find another mom in your school and go talk to her. Who knows… a strong friendship might form! If there’s not someone at your school that you feel you can open up to, maybe a phone call to your bestie is what is needed. Again, vulnerability can be powerful and healing. Having someone who has your back during this transition is a game-changer!
5.) Prayer
I know this last tip isn’t for everyone, but I firmly believe in the power of prayer. It grounds me and gives me peace to be able to connect to God. Sometimes I’ll say a prayer on my drive to work or while I’m feeding my baby in the morning. But, prayers don’t have to happen when you’re alone and it’s quiet. I often say “micro” prayers as I’m walking around my classroom checking student work. Lord, please help me get through this class period, or Lord, I just need a little bit of patience. It’s quick, but it’s powerful, and I can get back to what needs to be done.
Hopefully one (or all) of these tips will help any moms who are about to transition back into that classroom. It’s not easy, but you got this, mama!
Have you been through this transition? Do you have more advice on this topic? Share your wisdom by leaving a comment below!